Earlier this week I took Hanna to the ranch for a riding lesson. It was near the end of her lesson and I was standing in the arena talking to her instructor about the last time I’d ridden a horse. It had been on a trail ride, on a family vacation. I admitted I was a little hung over and not super excited to be on a horse. I also happened to get the horse that “might back up to get this plant he likes to eat… but don’t let him”.
We were walking along just fine… until we got to that plant he liked to eat and he started walking backwards… down a hill, and I freaked out. My first instinct (the one I followed) was to maybe scream like a girl and ask for help. 🙂 Someone came over and pulled my horse back on the trail for me and we carried on and finished the ride.
Since that time, I’ve watched Hanna take lessons, and I feel like I have a better handle on how to get a horse to do what you want him to do… which is what this conversation was about, since we’re going on another trail ride in a couple weeks… and I don’t want to embarrass Hanna with my horrible riding skills lol.
Her instructor said to me, Â “Once a horse is broke, you can make him do anything you want or need him to do.”
I looked at her and said, “Well, if you believe you can. yeah.”
She looked at me for a moment, thought about arguing with what I’d said… and then replied, “Hmm. yeah, I guess you’re right. I never thought about it that way.”
There’s no way, I could have gotten that horse going in the right direction again, because I didn’t believe I had the power, or the ability to do it.
It’s funny… Hanna was using her instructor’s horse last week for camp, and to be honest I don’t think she believed she could control that horse… and there were times when she definitely didn’t. He took advantage of the fact there was a kid on him, and kind of did what he wanted to do… including just leaving the arena every time she went past the gate. 😉 It was a good lesson for her, to learn to believe she has the power to control this huge animal, but until she believes she has total control of Luke, she won’t.
This happens in blogging and business all.the.time.
People don’t believe they can do it, so they don’t.
You know how this lack of belief shows up?
Questions.Â
Yep. They keep asking question, after question, after question, after question… (you get the point), and never take action. They never actually jump in to a project because they don’t believe it can happen. Why start something you don’t believe you can do? You might jump in and fail and look silly (if nowhere else, but in your head, to yourself).
The crazy thing about belief is this…Â
You’ve got to jump in to create it. You’ve got to create some sort of result to get the ball rolling. It comes from trying something, having a little bit of success, and from that success realizing it can be done.
[Tweet “Belief doesn’t come out of thin air. It comes out of action. “]
That’s what happened with Hanna and Luke… she pulled him around one time, made him listen and he didn’t walk out the gate… he didn’t walk out that gate on her again that day. Once she did it, she  believed she could… and so she did.
Were there people there, cheering her on, encouraging her to that she could do it, that it was safe to believe she could.
Absolutely. Me, her Dad, her Grandma, her Papa Dean, her instructor.
Yeah, she had a cheering section for sure… and that’s what makes it possible. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in fear, and anxiety that you never try anything enough to build up your belief. That’s why I put together a special subscribers only super secret group with my cohort Kelly… to give moms like you a place to have a cheering squad, a place to build your belief, a place to stop asking questions, start taking action and celebrate your results.
Join us… enter your email address below and you’ll receive an invitation to become part of this amazing community. See you there!
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PS. I’ll let you know how that trail ride goes… hopefully I don’t get the “backing up” horse again. 😉
I love that quote, it will stick with me – thank you so much for sharing. Beautiful.
Jackie, I can so relate to that. I’m afraid to try anything. I sabotage my efforts before I even begin to do something. I’ve tried to break this syndrome many times, but so far, I’ve failed. I’ll be excited about something and then I start thinking about the cons instead of the pros and before you know it, I’ve given up. Wish I knew how to break this vicious cycle. But HOORAY for Hanna. She did it! So happy for her and you.
P.S. I hope you got a different horse this time.