How the 80/20 Rule Is Changing My Life

As a work at home mom I’ve noticed over the years that I have this crazy idea ~

If I at least appear to be working I will make more money.

It really is crazy, because it’s not true at all. I was recently listening to an audio within the Blog Mastermind course about the 80/20 rule.  A rule I’ve been familiar with in association with other things, but never related it to my life or my business; until now.

What is the 80/20 rule?

The 80/20 rule goes like this; a small portion (20%) of  something creates a large portion (80%) of the results. This works in just about every area of life and business when you really think about it.

• America uses 80% or the worlds oil, but only has 20% of the world’s population.

• In a membership site 20% or your members will ask 80% of the questions.

• In network marketing 20% or your organization will produce 80% of your income.

• In my business 20% of my actions create 80% of my results.

So why on earth am I spinning my wheels, wasting time, looking busy with the other 60% of crap I am doing during the day?

It’s a good question.

It’s a question I think I need to look at because it goes way deeper than just busy work. This is where  beliefs rest, and some of those beliefs are probably not serving me, and maybe you, well.

Here’s some things that come up when I think about why I have to be “working” all day.

• If  I’m not working “hard”/”a lot”/”all day” what I’m doing isn’t valuable.

• It takes hard work to make money.

• If I don’t work I don’t make money.
• There’s always something that needs to be done.

• I have to prove that I am working hard to prove that working from home is legitimate.

WOW ~ who knew all that was in there?

What to do now?

I think some serious tapping (EFT) is in order.  I think tapping on each of those beliefs will help to clear them out and make it a little easier to apply the 80/20 rule in my life.

I will also use Zpoint when I notice I am sitting at the computer “working” but not engaging in the 20% activities.

How to implement the 80/20 rule in your WAHM life.

1. Identify the activities that bring you the most bang for your buck.

This may be difficult if you’ve been keeping busy for a long time, but this is crucial.  You may need to really strip away all the layers and get down to the very basics.

The basics of my business ~ blogging/writing ~ is content and marketing.

2.  Figure out your most productive activities

When you break things down to the basics you will see there are some specific activities that give you the most bang for your buck. For me it is writing blog posts/articles and for the marketing element I have identified 3 distinct activities I can do to market my business each day.

What activities can you do that will give you the most bang for your buck? I can almost guarantee it isn’t checking email every 5 minutes. lol (yeah, I’m guilty too)

3.  Batch process everything you can.

This comes from Timothy Ferriss’ book The 4 Hour Work Week, and when I can implement this it makes all the difference in my day.  Very quickly batch processing is about doing one thing at a time. If you have to answer email ~ wait and do it all one time a day. If you want to reply to forums, wait and do them all at one time. If you want to write articles, buckle down and do them all at one time. This focused energy will create a lot more time in your day, and a lot less “busy” work that is often times procrastination.

4. Make some plans for the rest of your day.

I find it really easy to keep sitting at the computer all day long if I don’t have something else planned to do. I’m beginning to plan craft projects in the afternoon for Hanna and I to do, so I will have something else on my schedule to help get up me up and away from the computer.

5. Be flexible.

This one is tough for me, I want my day to go in a certain order, and it rarely does, but now that I know what my 20% activities are I can finish one, and then jump into the next one when the ruckus has died down.  This flexibility also allows me room to follow my inspiration which also make the day go much smoother.

Creating Balance with the 80/20 rule

Implementing the 80/20 rule in my business is opening up more time to do other things that need to be done. It’s giving me the space to do the work that needs to be done, but let go of having to “work” all day. This is giving me the space to create a lot more balance in my life ~ at least giving me the opportunity to create the balance

Do you use the 80/20 rule in your business life? I’d love to hear how it helps you create more balance in your life.

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Consistency Challenge ~ How to Use Consistency to Create Balance in Your Life

My day was not off to a good start. I’m sore as hell from my workouts, my daughter is screaming about everything, and then my husband got up and decided it was a good time to tell me how I’m not being consistent enough and my daughter is “out of control”.

After bursting into tears I decided to get the hell out of dodge, put my clothes and sneakers on and went for a “run”. I love saying I’m going for a run. How’s he going to object? He’s all about me exercising more, so it’s a great way to get out of the house for a bit. It’s fun to say “run” but the reality is it’s way more walk than run lol.

Anyway ~ while I was on my run this morning I started thinking about what he said, and thought about consistency and how it fits in with me living a life in balance. I started to realize he was pretty right, and how part of what I want as a balanced life is to be able to have consistent responses.

Growing up, and even still,  you never know how my mom’s going to react to anything. Waking her up is a prime example. If you wake her up, she screams because she wanted to sleep, but if you let her sleep she screams that you should have woken her up. You can’t win for losing.  Some days with her, you say something and she lashes out, another day you say the same thing and she is all smiles and laughter. It’s very confusing. I personally don’t want to be that way with my daughter. So I can see how consistency really plays a part in that.

So why am I so inconsistent with her?

Time:

She frequently acts up while I’m in the middle of something. I don’t want to break my train of thought so I let it slide.

I’m exhausted:

I’m tired of dealing with one thing after another so I just let some things I probably shouldn’t slide.

Gentle Parenting:

I’ve read so many “gentle parenting” books that I’m afraid I’m giong to scar her for life by disciplining her in anything other than the most gentle manner.

For example, part of the discussion with my husband this morning was him saying “you just need to spank her every time she does something she’s not supposed to do. Every time. Nothing else has worked, going to her room, time out and everything else you’ve tried ~ just doesn’t work. Just spank her, it works.”

Here’s the deal with that ~ 1. most of those other things did work when I was being seriously consistent about it.  2. I don’t want to spank my kid. I was spanked as a kid and I don’t remember what it was I did wrong, I just remember having to pick the belt I was going to get beat with. Yes, I probably did tow the line for fear of getting beat, but I don’t want to parent out of fear.

However ~ it does seem to work. So I guess there is a lot of confusion in ME about what/how I want to approach things, which makes it really difficult to be consistent.

When you’re running, your mind kind of wanders ~ which is a good thing. You start thinking about how one thing affects everything, and today was the same.

I started thinking about consistency in other areas I want to find balance in. I notice when I consistently do small things every day the house stays way cleaner, and I don’t have to spend a whole day/week cleaning it when someone’s coming over.

When I work out consistently over time I feel better, I lose weight.

When I make better choices in the food I eat consistently, over time it is much easier to choose healthier options, I feel better, I lose weight.

Consistency is an issue for me. I really WANT to be consistent, there’s just so many things going on, and I find it difficult to be consistent with EVERYTHING long term.

What am I going to do about this?

Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take some baby steps. I’m going to choose some things I really feel I need to be consistent about. I’m going to work on being consistent with those specific things over the next month. Then hopefully at that point it will be a “habit” and I won’t need to think about it so much and I can add some more things in a month.

1. Hanna spitting ~ she’s been spitting at me/dogs/hubby/floor for a while now and it’s just not acceptable.

She will be given 1 warning, and then she will go to the time out chair for 3 minutes.

2. Swish and swipe ~ a quick swish of the toilet and a swipe of the counters in the bathroom every morning when I’m done showering.

3. Empty the dishwasher every morning after breakfast.

4. Work out at least some 6 days a week.

5. Take time for myself ~ even if it’s only 5 minutes every day.

I’m sure there are more things that I need to be consistent with Hanna about, but right now they aren’t coming to mind.

Part of the problem is she is very defiant ~ but I think that’s part of being 3. I’m not really sure how to deal with the defiance, if it’s something I need to battle with now ~ and if I don’t will it just balloon as she gets older. I just don’t know ~ this is the first time I’ve done this. I want her to be an independant thinker, and not just do as people tell her when she grows up ~ but I’m not sure how that translates when she’s three.

I can definitely see how consistency is a huge part of living a life in balance. I’m going to be more consistent with these 5 things over the next month. I’ll let you know how things change as I go. I’m open to comments/suggestions please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.

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What is a Life in Balance?

It recently occurred to me that trying to move toward a life in balance without really knowing what that means to me is kind of like wanting to go to Brooklyn, but only deciding to go to the East Coast.  I think it is going to take a crystal clear vision of what a life in balance looks like for me to be able to get there.  If I don’t know exactly what it means to me it will be very hard to make adjustments along the way to make sure I’m still heading in the right direction.  I’m sure a life in balance may look very different to you, but today I’m going to outline what I vision my life in balance to be.

My vision for a life in balance.

I am calm and filled with peace. Each area of my life receives more than enough attention and time so that I don’t feel I’m neglecting any part of my life, spirit, soul.

What does that really mean?

I am calm and filled with peace.

I am easily able to handle bumps in the road in a calm and peaceful manner. Life’s little ups and down no longer throw me for a loop.  I am able to handle all situations calmly without losing my temper. I can easily feel joy and love living a life filled with joy and serenity.

Each area of my life receives more than enough attention. . .

Myself:

I find more than enough time to pamper and love myself. I enjoy my favorite activities, both with my family and alone. I find time to enjoy the silence, meditate, read, and all the other things I enjoy.

Wife:

I find time to spend time with my husband one on one. We are able to find time to spend together as a family that is fun and relaxing.

Mom:

I find time to do fun things with Hanna regularly. I enjoy spending one on one adventure, learning time with her on a daily basis.

I am able to respond to her with love and kindness in all sitautions.

Daughter:

I am able to say no to my mom when it’s necessary. I am able to spend time with my mom while staying positive and peaceful. I am able to let go of past hurts and enjoy her for who she really is.

Household responsibilities:

My home is in good working order and I am no longer suffering in CHAOS (can’t have anyone over syndrome). Rooms are neat and tidy ~ perfectionism does not stand in my way. It is ok for things to be done ~ even if they’re not done perfectly.

Sex:

My husband and I find time to spend together. We have a loving, generous, caring sexual relationship.

Gardener:

I  find time to spend enjoying my garden, weeding, planting, harvesting, watering. I allow myself to spend the time in the garden and enjoy it.

Work:

I spend time doing the activiities that are the most productive. Time wasters have been eliminated. I allow myself to walk away from work when work is done and feel good for what I have accomplished.

Body:

I make conscious choices to eat things that nourish my body and eat until I’m satisfied. I trust my body that it knows what it wants/needs. I listen to my body and allow it to lead the way when it comes to making choices about food.

I also find ways to move more, and get fit. I look for things to participate in like bike rides, and a triathalon to help stay motivated and give me something to work toward. I feel good that my attitude toward fitness and health sets a great example for my daughter. I set an example, not only through my words, but my actions as well.

Thinking:

I let go of all or nothing thinking, and I’m able to be flexible when making decisions. I have let go of judgement and I’m able to accept people as they are.

How’s all this gonna happen?

Good question ~ I’m not sure. However, since I’ve set these intentions resources have already started showing up.  I’ve been drawn to programs and resources that are helping my vision become my reality. That’s really exciting. Here are a couple of things I’m currently drawn to.

FlyLady ~

Flylady is helping me get control of my house. She is also helping me let go of perfectionism and all or nothing thinking.  Taking baby steps, creating routines so simple things become habits.  She’s helping me remember it’s better to something ~ 5 or 15 minutes of something than nothing at all. This is a huge lesson for me, and is already helping me move forward in a number of areas.

Power90 ~

I’ve started working out with power90 ~ the dvd has been laying around my house for probably 5 years now. I’m actually hitting play now, and feeling good about it. Hanna enjoys working out with me as well.

I’ve also decided to do a 35 mile bike ride on September 27. I’m hoping I can get enough training in to be ready in two months.  One small glitch, I got my bike out and it is in bad shape. I’m gonna need a new bike. I saw on Nightline last night a place where they sell Police Seized items, auction style, so maybe I can get one there cheap.  (see resources keep showing up)

Everyday Bliss for Busy Women I picked up this book last week and it is helping immensely! It has introduced me to some amazing energy therapies I was not aware of. I have been using EFT, but this also teaches Zpoint, as well as TAT. I am finding it quite helpful to incorporate these energy therapies into my day to let go a lot of the blocks I find in life.

That’s what I’ve got now ~ but I’m sure as more things surface more resources will as well. I am looking forward to the journey and feel like I’m on the right track with a clear vision of where I’m going.

I’d love to hear what your vision of a life in balance looks like. Please feel free to leave comments below.

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Thriving is as Natural As Breathing Itself . . .

Thriving is as natural as breathing itself. By relaxing often and breathing deeply, your natural thriving is enhanced.

Abraham-Hicks

Thriving is as natural as breathing ~ I’m breathing that one in for a minute.

I look at my life and I wonder if it’s true. I look at Hanna and know it must be.  I mean jeez ~ 3 years ago she was this little tiny 6 pound bundle ~ Now she is this beautiful blue eyed, blonde haired 26 lb individual. She thrives ~ it takes no effort on her part (or mine for that matter), she just thrives. She learns every day, she grows (emotionally and physically) every day and minus random temper tantrums she is in good spirits moving through this world.

Me on the other hand ~ thriving takes work ~ it takes remembering ~ it takes work ~ what happen to it just being natural? I think over the years we gather/collect thoughts/beliefs that stand in the way of our thriving. It’s those beliefs and thoughts that make us forget that thriving is natural. I think the real work in this is to REMEMBER that thriving is as natural as breathing.

I think breathing ~ might be part of that remembering lol. Sometimes it takes some effort to remember to breathe. And when I remember it’s amazing how restorative breath can be.

So if thriving is as natural as breathing ~ and relaxing and breathing deeply enhance my natural thriving it would be logical to think that taking more time to relax and breath deeply would lead to more thriving (both emotionally and monetarily) I would imagine.

Soooo. . . let’s assume for a moment this is true ~ that would mean that all this go go go mentality I have so effectively fostered all these years is probably counter productive to my natural thriving.  It still confuses/confounds me ~ how I can achieve more by doing less. This is a pretty big belief I’ve got going on. Although I have seen glimpses of the truth in this thought when I really focus on taking more time to breath and relax, I easily fall back into old habits only to realize what I’ve done months later.

I think this is a topic that deserves some tapping.  I’m gonna go tap tap tap. . . feel free to leave your thoughts. It’s an incredible journey and I love support/feedback.

PS. I’m also thinking about joining Bob Doyle’s Weath Beyond Reason program ~ I would love any feedback from those of you who have taken it.

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Thought It Was All About Dichotomy ~ Now I’m Not So Sure

Last night I was thinking about what it means to me to “live a life in balance”. I started thinking about the times I feel most in balance and when I feel most out of balance. I began to realize just how much the dichotomy of life plays a part in my feeling of balance.

Everything about life is a dichotomy ~ and as an “all or nothing” thinker I tend to swing from one end to the other.

Fat ~ Skinny
Happy ~ Mad
Sacred ~ Mundane
Scheduled ~ Free Flying
Strict ~ Liberal
holding a grudge ~ forgiving easily
Love ~ hate
self love ~ beating myself up

and I could go on and on. It’s this dichotomy and my tendency to live in a state of either or that I believe leaves me in a life out of balance.

It seems like a natural conclusion that living in the middle of the dichotomy would lead me naturally and easily to a life in balance.  Seems obvious ~ but how the hell do you do that??

Or is it really living in the middle that creates balance or is it choosing the “best” end of the dichotomy and living on that end more often than not?

I mean let’s take fat vs. skinny.

Is being medium chunky the key to living a life in balance or is it really about choosing to be skinny (or fat) and moving to BE that all the time?  I guess what I’m asking is it the wavering on decisions, lack of confidence in what I want to BE have and do, that leads to imbalance ~ or is it really about living in the middle?

Hmmm…

I thought I knew what I was talking about when I started this post, now I have no frickin’ idea.  I thought it was going to be all about living in the middle ~ but now I’m not really sure that’s where it’s at at all.

honest vs. Deceitful

Do I really want to live in the middle? Do I wanna lie sometimes? Or be honest with others and just dishonest with myself as a middle ground?

Does that breed balance?

hmm…

I’m thinking that being honest ALL the time is really where I want to be living, but the times I’m living in the other end of the dichotomy is when I feel out of balance.

OHHH ~

Maybe life in balance is really about BEING who you REALLY are.

The times I feel out of balance is when I step away from WHO I REALLY AM.  So maybe it’s not about the dichotomy at all, maybe it’s about turning inward, and being open to realizing who I really am, at my inner core of spirit.

Abraham recommends using your emotions as a guidance system. When you’re getting off track you will know because you will have “negative emotion”. I know this in my head, but I keep thinking “ack, checking in with my feelings isn’t getting any work done” lol. Checking in with my feelings could feel like a waste of time, but I guess it would depend on what the “goal” of life is. If my goal is to live a life in balance, then checking in with my feelings, and trying to redirect myself back to feeling good would be my #1 tool to achieve the goal of balance.

So for example ~ If honest is really WHO I am at a spiritual level, I feel yucky when I know I’m not being honest (with myself or others). It is that yucky feeling that signals me that I’m not being/doing who I really am, and shows me I need to realign myself/actions back to center (center being honest in all action and deeds).

Well this has really moved me in a direction that I wasn’t anticipating, so I’m going to have to chew on this for a bit. I’d love to hear your thoughts ~ do you feel like you’re living a life in balance? What would balance in life look like to you?

I’ll be back ~

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